


Problematic Wood.

by HauntRavensong



Series: Press Start to Begin. [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Balthazar lives!, Drunk Charlie, Drunk Reader, Everyone is against the reader, Gen, Maybe ooc characters so I do apologize, Rowena secretly likes the game, Troublesome reader, accidental magic, in a silly way though, sam is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntRavensong/pseuds/HauntRavensong
Summary: After getting hurt and a depressing phone call, the reader is bored and wants a good laugh. He calls a few friends to see if anyone wants to play since Sam, Dean, and Cass are gone.





	Problematic Wood.

**Author's Note:**

> Now I want to say sorry if I got anyone's personality wrong. It's actually been quite a while since I've seen the show. I do own a season of it so it kind of helped.

Today wasn't a good day for (Y/n). He had to stay behind in the bunker after a skinwalker got a cheap shot on him. It didn't get better after he got a call from his siblings. Condescending assholes the lot of them. The talk was too long and about something he already forgot. Oh well.

Boredom was kicking his butt since the team was already out on another hunt. Even research wasn't necessary on his part since Sam is basically the entire Google.

After a moment of laying on the couch in the living room, an idea came to his head. With a grin he got out his phone and texted one of his best friends.

BabyRoo: Chaaaaaaaaaarmander~ <3

Charmander: -.- How many times do I need 2 tell ya to stop callin' me that? What's up?

BabyRoo: B glad I'm not callin' ya Charizard lol. I'm bored, wanna play CaH if I can get more people?

Charmander: Ooooooh that sounds fun :3 if more people join then Hell yeah! 

BabyRoo: Awesome ^.^ I'll make a few calls and see who I can get. Since TheGoogleSam and HulkDean r out we have full reign for a couple of days >:D

Charmander: Roger that! Just let me know what people say. ^.^7

After that he began calling around. He isn't expecting many to respond. There are a few that the brothers wouldn't approve of but he couldn't find it in himself to give a damn right now. He needed to kill the boredom.

A few hours later...

"This place is awfully tasteless. What it needs is a good piano." A voice said as (Y/n) was finishing setting up the drinks. The young hunter turned around and smiled big at the visitor.

"Balthy! I didn't think you'd actually come over."

Ever since Cass had 'killed' his brother he had been wary of revealing his presence. (Y/n) is an exception because of their shared hate of the movie Titanic. The angel took a play out of Gabriel's book to stay hidden.

"Well," The angel said, "it's been a while and I've wanted to play this. Who else is joining us?"

Just as he said that, another voice was heard from the stairs. "I'm here, bitches!" The red haired woman then walked over to (Y/n) and gave him a hug. Then her attention turned to the angel. "Hi there, Bal, ready to have your angelic ass whooped?"

The two gave each other a playful glare before she asked. "Is this all?"

"Nope." He told her. With how his hand just ruffled his hair, he was nervous. There was only one person in the world that could get him this wary.

"Oh hello, Dearie." An accented voice said. "If I'd known you would have...distracting company, I would've been here sooner."

Charlie gave her friend a champion resting bitch face but he ignored it. "Hello, Rowena."

Out of all of them, Balthazar was very relaxed. Then again the angel tends to be a flirt also so (Y/n) isn't surprised of it happening. There's also a good chance that he's used to women hitting on him too.

(Y/n) then showed them to the table where the cards are in the library. "I honestly didn't think that you would join in, Rowena."

The witch smiled at him. "Unlike those Winchesters, I do enjoy your company. You're polite sometimes."

"He won't be with the game we're about to play." Balthazar pointed out with a chuckle. "Speaking of those flannel fanatics coming back?"

"About a couple of days. At least that's what they told me."

Before they began the game, (Y/n) explained the rules to Rowena and Balthazar as a just in case. The main hope is that he doesn't get turned into a frog by an angry witch. Well hopes that for everyone really. He also didn't want to get turned into a pile of salt by the angel.

Rowena's reaction as he explained the rules was unexpected. She seemed to enjoy the idea of possibly embarrassing the people at the table. Of course she did.

(Y/n) was hoping for more people but he knows that many of them are busy. He isn't going to force anyone to play, not that he really could since he's only a human. 

"Ok, now time to decide who draws the first card." He said as he sat down. The smirk on Charlie's face didn't go unnoticed though. "What are you planning now, Gremlin?"

"How about we make this more interesting?" She then got up only to come back with a few bottles of Dean's strongest whiskey from his 'secret' stash. The man needs better hiding spots.

"Go on." (Y/n) said in a very suave tone. It isn't on Gabriel's level but he isn't trying to seduce. 

Her smirk became a full grin. "Every time we don't score a card we take a shot. It won't take many for you to get drunk, especially with the strong stuff."

He looked actually offended at her. "I'll have you know that I have gotten better about it."

She already poured some of it in the shot glasses. "Prove it."

The resident angel huffed. "Oh boy." He knows from experience of how easy it actually is to egg (Y/n) on this way. It is also how he ends up in so much trouble sometimes. And usually loses unless he has a plan. 

"Fine." He responded to her. "How about we up the ante a little more? Maybe eight cards to win rather than five."

The other two people rolled their eyes at this 'competition'. Little does Balthazar know that the witch had been giving him the same glances that she tends to give Castiel.

"Deal. Now we have a party." Charlie beamed as she picked up her hand. This was going to end either very well or very bad.

"And soon to be a couple of very drunk humans." Balthazar sighed. He decided to start off. "I'll just go ahead and be the start of your impending doom. Such a nice start: Why do I hurt all over?"

Rowena had a horrified face with some of her cards. "I can see why Fergus enjoyed this."

(Y/n) snickered. "Deep down you'll enjoy it too."

"Phrasing!"

"Shush!"

Only the start and the two humans were already somewhat bickering. This is going to be a long game but (Y/n) is hoping it will be. Also Rowena may or may not be interested in what kind of drunk the young hunter is. Usually he avoids alcohol.

After the answer cards were down, Charlie nudged a shot glass toward him as a just in case. "Why do I hurt all over? Daddy's belt...seriously?" The only answer he got were snickers so he continued. "Why do I hurt all over? Existing. And the Forbidden fruit. All plausible answers."

"Huh, didn't think that a fruit could do that." (Y/n) snickered again. Other than that everyone had their poker faces on.

"I'll go for existing. It sums up everything."

Much to his dismay, it was Charlie's card. "First shot, (Y/n)." She had a shit eating grin on her face as he downed it. It burned going down but hopefully he'll have better luck.

Again to his dismay this was Charlie's turn to flip a card. "Nine out of ten doctors prescribe blank for erectile dysfunction."

This actually got a snort out of Rowena. At first they were going to ask what she was laughing about but thought better of it.

Charlie began to flip the cards over. "Ok what do doctors give for a boost... A cherry flavored banana shaped dildo. Doctors prescribe Dean's sexual appetite. They'll prescribe the milk man." They all laughed when the card about Dean was read. It technically wasn't wrong.

"Dean is gonna kill me for that card." (Y/n) said between laughs. He was hoping that the brothers will never know about the extra write in's he has made.

"Even though the card about Dean is hilarious, I have to go for the dildo."

Balthazar smirked as he took the card. "Time for another shot."

(Y/n) just mumbled mockingly at him while getting his refill. Maybe he shouldn't have agreed to this. Oh well, too late now. Plus it might get his mind off that annoying phone call from earlier. 

He downed the shot no problem. It wasn't as intense as the first one. "I sure hope I won't be that drunk."

"Maybe, maybe not dearie." Rowena said as she flipped her prompt card. "Blank probably tastes better than Subway."

"Ugh. Anything tastes better than that sandwich place." He mumbled. The angel beside him agreed but he can only taste molecules. 

" A disappointing salad probably tastes better than Subway."

(Y/n) again snickered. "Wow, this describes Sam to a T."

Both Charlie and Balthazar laughed before the witch continued to read. "Exactly what you'd expect probably tastes better than Subway. And...an unstoppable wave of fire ants probably tastes better than Subway. I have so many questions of why fire ants would be but I won't judge. I'll go for the salad."

(Y/n) fell back in his chair when this happened. The grin on Charlie's face was getting old. "I hate you." He downed another shot. This is indeed going to be a long night. At this rate he'll be drunk in no time at all. He needs to up his game. He just needs better cards.

After a couple of more hours of the same round and long conversations, he was indeed drunk. So far he only has four of the eight he needs. Charlie and Rowena have five while Balthazar has six. Despite his drunken state, he doesn't slur his words that badly. He does tend to stutter a bit though.

Both Rowena and Balthazar noticed early on in both humans' drunkeness that the game got off track. It was then decided that the two will play it out while they just used throw away cards just to see what will happen.

It was (Y/n)'s turn to read again. He was even somewhat hiccupping "O-okay. How...did I lose my...virginity? Wait...when did I lose it? I don't member losin' it."

Charlie just giggled girlishly at this. "I thought you lost it to a certain man with wings."

"M'by," he slurred. "I not tellin' but y'know that Deanie boy loves havin' the divine spear up his butt."

Now the two sober people just sighed out of exasperation. This wasn't what they were expecting at all. (Y/n) is a giggly drunk. Laughs at anything and everything. The drunks kept snickering after what Balthazar told them.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about Cass and Dean that way." He visibly shuddered at the thought.

"It 'nt them I'm talkin' 'bout." He informed his angel friend. "Talkin' 'bout Gabe and Dean. They was makin' out behind a store a couple weeks ago. Gotta pic of it too."

That just made him shudder even harder. Even Rowena was uncomfortable talking about Dean's possible one night stands. The angel actually got up and walked to the kitchen, all the while the two drunks were giggling like madmen at his very red face.

Rowena got their attention back to the game. "Why don't you go ahead and read the answer cards, Dearie." It was more of a command but that didn't deter (Y/n).

"Ok." He mumbled. "How did I loose my virginity? Half assed foreplay." He was trying so hard not to laugh again. "My dad's dumb fucking face...and lastly...huh. This is weird."

As he began to read the last answer card, Rowena realized too late that it was actually a spell incantation. A bright light flashed in the room and sent everyone backwards. Balthazar came rushing back into the room and looked around. "Is everyone alright?"

"I think so." Charlie said from her spot on the floor. "Where's (Y/n)?"

Rowena then explained. "One of the write in cards has a spell on it. I'm not sure what it did."

"Was that chair always here?" The tech wiz pointed to an antique style chair. The color of it was actually the same color as their friend's hair. It wasn't long before the angel had a look of absolute horror on his face.

"By my father, he is the chair." 

Despite him now being an inanimate object, Balthazar can hear his thoughts. And he is not happy or amused.

"Don't worry." Rowena told them. "I'll stay and see if I can find the book this incantation came from. I'll also tell Sam and Dean that writing random spells on cards isn't a good idea, with or without ingredients."

Though Charlie wanted to help get her friend to not be a chair it was obvious that she really couldn't with how drunk she still was. Sam and Dean are going to get an earful from the witch.

"(Y/n)." Balthazar sighed as he moved his chair friend back into the library. "I don't think who won matters right now. You can't even play in your current condition. No, I promise I won't let Sam or Dean's large ass sit on you."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. :3 Again, sorry if I got their personalities wrong.


End file.
